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timjp77
Joined: 12 Jul 2005
Posts: 94
Location: Overland Park, KS
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 Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:20 am Post subject: Holy Water Pistol |
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http://72.14.207.104/search?q=cache:Mhj2if2hfvgJ:my.amerion.com/fullpage?module=43152&newsarticleid=1402+%22Marcos+Monzalvo%22&hl=en&gl=ca&ct=clnk&cd=1&lr=lang_en
Mexican priest shoots holy water
2006-02-13 14:48:00.0
Mexico City (dpa) - A Mexican priest has come up with a novel way of blessing his congregation - with a water pistol.
Faced with a decline of Sunday visitors to his church in Pachuca, Marcos Monzalvo now blesses his congregation with holy water shot from a water pistol, the Reforma daily reported Monday.
"I promised people they would experience something new every Sunday they come to church. That's how I came up with the idea to use the water pistol," the 38-year-old priest told the newspaper.
Worshippers like the stunt, rewarding Monzalvo's sermons with applause and laughter, the newspaper said. Children are especially taken by the priest's colourful plastic toy, which he tells them he received from the three Magi.
The "benediction pistol" was used with great respect for the church, its religion and the congregation, the priest told the newspaper.
2006 dpa Deutsche Presse-Agentur GmbH
Amerion.com
I wonder if they sing the "Asperges Me" during this? |
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:20 am Post subject: Advertisement |
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ApologiaProVitaSua
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Joined: 17 Feb 2004
Posts: 462
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:22 am Post subject: |
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Holy Hand Grenade |
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crusader1099
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 946
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:24 am Post subject: |
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| might come in handy during exorcisms... |
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Dale
Joined: 09 Jul 2005
Posts: 315
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:04 am Post subject: |
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Ad te clamamus exsules filii Hevae.
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes in hac lacrimarum valle. |
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KateT
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Joined: 12 Jul 2005
Posts: 725
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:21 am Post subject: |
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"Worshippers like the stunt,
rewarding Monzalvo's sermons with applause
and laughter, the newspaper said.
Children are especially taken by the
priest's colourful plastic toy...."
OR:
 Kate |
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KateT
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Joined: 12 Jul 2005
Posts: 725
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:29 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | The "benediction pistol" was used with great respect for the church, its religion and the congregation, the priest told the newspaper. |
"Gee, Father, WHATEVER YOU SAY, I'm sure you know what is right...."
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xcordeeclesiae
Joined: 04 Feb 2005
Posts: 1899
Location: Philly
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:41 am Post subject: water pistols |
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Catholics were warned to "shun the regime of novelty" This wacko priest wants "something new every sunday" Well if people are so bored and turned off by the novus ordo that they constantly need "entertainment" "fun" or "novelty" to keep them coming to the novus ordo, then that in itself is a sign of how bad things have gotten. And why Catholics need to flee the regime of innovations.
This is truly blasphemy because it turns the Mass into entertainment. And nevermind about validity here--- a valid consecration in the midst of such abuse is clearly sacriligious |
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JDobbs
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Joined: 13 Jun 2005
Posts: 2261
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:45 am Post subject: Re: Holy Water Pistol |
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| timjp77 wrote: | | I wonder if they sing the "Asperges Me" during this? |
I actually thought (and forgot) about Hap doing the Asperges with a Super Soaker. Will they PLEASE stop giving me ideas for The New Springtime? It's finished already! Geez! 
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Isabel
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Joined: 03 Feb 2006
Posts: 463
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 12:20 pm Post subject: |
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| ApologiaProVitaSua wrote: |
Holy Hand Grenade |
GALAHAD: Do we have any bows?
ARTHUR: No.
LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
ROBIN: The what?
ARTHUR: The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard always carries with him.
ALL: Yes. Of course.
ARTHUR (shouting): Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
Slight pause. Then from the area where the 'HORSES' are, a small group of MONKS process forward towards the KNIGHTS, the leading MONK bearing an ornate golden reliquary, and the accompanying MONKS chanting and waving incense. They reach the KNIGHTS. The hand grenade is suffused with the holy glow.
ARTHUR takes it. Pause
ARTHUR: How does it ... er ...
LAUNCELOT: I know not.
ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments.
BROTHER MAYNARD: Armaments Chapter Two Verses Nine to Twenty One.
ANOTHER MONK (reading from bible): And St. Attila raised his hand grenade up on high saying "O Lord bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. "and the Lord did grin and people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and...
BROTHER MAYNARD: Skip a bit brother ...
ANOTHER MONK: ... Er ... oh, yes ... and the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
ARTHUR: Right.
He pulls Pin out. The MONK blesses the grenade as ...
ARTHUR (quietly): One, two, three ..., five ...
GALAHAD: Three, sir!
ARTHUR: Three.
ARTHUR throws the grenade at the RABBIT. There is an explosion and cheering from the KNIGHTS. |
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JDobbs
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Joined: 13 Jun 2005
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Location: Jacksonville, FL
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 12:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Isabel wrote: | | And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached... |
This is CLASSIC. The Old Testament loves this "endless repetition" thing. The first time I saw MP&THG AFTER I read the Bible, I couldn't stop laughing here.
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crusader1099
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 946
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 12:42 pm Post subject: |
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Isn't the movie in question a bit blasphemous? Should Catholics watch such things?
***Full Disclosure***
I have also seen this movie and thought it to be quite funny, especially the savage little bunny rabbit.
That was many years ago and I don't think my concience would allow me to watch it now.
but I digress....
ECCLESIA MILITANS! |
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KateT
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Joined: 12 Jul 2005
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 12:58 pm Post subject: |
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| crusader1099 wrote: | Isn't the movie in question a bit blasphemous? Should Catholics watch such things?
***Full Disclosure***
I have also seen this movie and thought it to be quite funny, especially the savage little bunny rabbit.
That was many years ago and I don't think my concience would allow me to watch it now.
but I digress....
ECCLESIA MILITANS! |
"I don't think my conscience would allow me to watch it now...."
Movie? What movie? Do tell... name of movie please...
Not that I would think of renting it... no sir, not thinking of that a'tall....
 Kate |
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Torquemada
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Posts: 1391
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 1:16 pm Post subject: |
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Wouldn't that be Monty Python and the Holy Grail?
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crusader1099
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 946
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 1:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Torquemada wrote: | | Wouldn't that be Monty Python and the Holy Grail? |
Give that man a gold star!  |
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Isabel
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Joined: 03 Feb 2006
Posts: 463
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 1:37 pm Post subject: |
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| KateT wrote: | | crusader1099 wrote: | Isn't the movie in question a bit blasphemous? Should Catholics watch such things?
***Full Disclosure***
I have also seen this movie and thought it to be quite funny, especially the savage little bunny rabbit.
That was many years ago and I don't think my concience would allow me to watch it now.
but I digress....
ECCLESIA MILITANS! |
"I don't think my conscience would allow me to watch it now...."
Movie? What movie? Do tell... name of movie please...
Not that I would think of renting it... no sir, not thinking of that a'tall....
Kate |
Yes, it is Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
While it has been a long time since I have seen it, I never really thought of it as blasphemous.............more like..............disprespectful in a couple of scenes.
The reason I say 'disrespectful' is - is that the movie isn't a serious movie like Temptation of Christ or Da Vinci Code where they are actually trying to make Christ out to be an ordinary human and/or sinner and trying to make people think of God as being something he could never be.
It is a complete farce, with "way out there" humor, something that could never be taken seriously. I do remember a couple of scenes that I did not like and found distasteful and I found myself fast forwarding through those parts. But on the whole, I remember it being hilarious. I, of course, love "out there" humor (Princess Bride and Napolean Dynamite). |
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crusader1099
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 946
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 1:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Isabel wrote: | | KateT wrote: | | crusader1099 wrote: | Isn't the movie in question a bit blasphemous? Should Catholics watch such things?
***Full Disclosure***
I have also seen this movie and thought it to be quite funny, especially the savage little bunny rabbit.
That was many years ago and I don't think my concience would allow me to watch it now.
but I digress....
ECCLESIA MILITANS! |
As far as blasphemy, I was thinking about the way they portray GOD the Father speaking from heaven to the "knights."
"it's just a flesh wound...."
"I don't think my conscience would allow me to watch it now...."
Movie? What movie? Do tell... name of movie please...
Not that I would think of renting it... no sir, not thinking of that a'tall....
Kate |
Yes, it is Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
While it has been a long time since I have seen it, I never really thought of it as blasphemous.............more like..............disprespectful in a couple of scenes.
The reason I say 'disrespectful' is - is that the movie isn't a serious movie like Temptation of Christ or Da Vinci Code where they are actually trying to make Christ out to be an ordinary human and/or sinner and trying to make people think of God as being something he could never be.
It is a complete farce, with "way out there" humor, something that could never be taken seriously. I do remember a couple of scenes that I did not like and found distasteful and I found myself fast forwarding through those parts. But on the whole, I remember it being hilarious. I, of course, love "out there" humor (Princess Bride and Napolean Dynamite). |
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crusader1099
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 946
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 1:49 pm Post subject: |
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Uh, OK. Let me try this again...
As far as blasphemy, I was talking about the way they portray GOD the Father speaking to the knights from heaven.
"It's just a flesh wound...." |
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Isabel
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Joined: 03 Feb 2006
Posts: 463
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:43 pm Post subject: |
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| crusader1099 wrote: | Uh, OK. Let me try this again...
As far as blasphemy, I was talking about the way they portray GOD the Father speaking to the knights from heaven.
"It's just a flesh wound...." |
When that scene began, I found it to be distasteful and was uncomfortable with it, so I skipped the rest of it. Was something blasphemous said during that scene? (I can look that scene up on the online script when I get a chance.) Like I said, I found it disrespectful, but I didn't hear anything blasphemous before I sped it along.
Don't get me wrong, people, I am not 'defending' this movie. Nor am I advocating it. For the record, I just don't remember any blasphemies in it. But it's been a long time. If there are, I stand corrected. I simply couldn't resist looking online to see if I could find the script when I saw the picture of the Holy Hand Grenade and posting that part of the script. I remember it being one of the parts of the movie I laughed the hardest over. (I also loved the scene where the king is trying to get the soldiers to stand guard in his son's room until he comes back.) |
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crusader1099
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 946
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Isabel wrote: | | crusader1099 wrote: | Uh, OK. Let me try this again...
As far as blasphemy, I was talking about the way they portray GOD the Father speaking to the knights from heaven.
"It's just a flesh wound...." |
(I also loved the scene where the king is trying to get the soldiers to stand guard in his son's room until he comes back.) |
That was classic!
"You stay here and watch him until I get back...."
"Where are you going?"
"I'm coming with you."
"No, No. You stay HERE and watch him."
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servitium
Joined: 07 Feb 2004
Posts: 7809
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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CLICK! |
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servitium
Joined: 07 Feb 2004
Posts: 7809
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 3:30 pm Post subject: |
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"Merely a flesh wound...." |
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crusader1099
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 946
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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servitium-
When I saw that you had made the latest post here, I thought we were going to be chastened for highjacking the thread.
But I see you are joining in the fun!
great pictures
ECCLESIA MILITANS! |
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servitium
Joined: 07 Feb 2004
Posts: 7809
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I thought we were going to be chastened for highjacking the thread. |
I'll fart in your general direction. |
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Funky Bitterman
Joined: 21 Jan 2006
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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| crusader1099 wrote: | servitium-
But I see you are joining in the fun! |
A sense of humor? How uncatholic!
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Dr. Brian Kopp
Joined: 13 Feb 2004
Posts: 2125
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Funky Bitterman wrote: | | crusader1099 wrote: | servitium-
But I see you are joining in the fun! |
A sense of humor? How uncatholic! |
Indeed. A clear violation of the Orthodox Patriachal Bull, "Quo Boredom." |
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slaurentiimartyris
Priest
Joined: 04 Feb 2006
Posts: 50
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 12:34 am Post subject: Please pray for us |
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Prayer for Priests by St. Therese of Lisieux
O Jesus, eternal Priest, keep your priests within the shelter of Your Sacred Heart,
where none may touch them.
Keep unstained their anointed hands, which daily touch Your Sacred Body.
Keep unsullied their lips, daily purpled with your Precious Blood.
Keep pure and unearthly their hearts, sealed with the sublime mark of the priesthood.
Let Your holy love surround them and shield them from the world's contagion.
Bless their labors with abundant fruit and may the souls to whom they minister be their joy and
consolation here and in heaven their beautiful and everlasting crown. Amen. |
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Glornt
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Joined: 15 Feb 2006
Posts: 1690
Location: Louisiana
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 12:42 am Post subject: |
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I see the French taunters -- my favorite scenes in the whole movie. One of my brothers and I used to recite the lines from the two taunting scenes quite regularly, sometimes in public places, where we could tell how few people had seen the movie by the strange looks we got, with lines such as:
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!"
and
"You cheesy lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters."
Powerful stuff -- I sometimes wonder if such vicious taunting might not have turned back the Germans in the 1940s...
The witch trial, the coconut discussions, the knights who say, "Ni!", and Brave Sir Robin were also highlights.
The more offensive (and much less funny) Monty Python movie was "Life of Brian". |
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jhpin
Joined: 28 Sep 2005
Posts: 138
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 12:55 am Post subject: |
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Kids!!! Get ready for Mass !!!
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Glornt
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Joined: 15 Feb 2006
Posts: 1690
Location: Louisiana
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 4:30 am Post subject: |
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| jhpin wrote: | | Kids!!! Get ready for Mass !!! |
This just reminded me of when I was in grad school many years ago in Baltimore. There was a church just about a block away from my apartment, and I remember the first mass I went to there. The priest opened the Homily with the line, "Guess what I've got under my robes?"
I had no idea what was going on; he pulled out two hand puppets and proceeded to use them in his sermon. I later learned that this was the time of the weekly children's mass, which helped explain it some, but I still thought it was a bit creepy and avoided going back to that particular mass.
It seems that often "special" masses are used as excuses to engage in various "ad lib" practices, not that I haven't seen my share of liturgical improvisation at "regular" (N.O.) masses as well.
The the last N.O. church that I attended regularly had a priest that was pretty decent in comparison to what I had gotten used to around here, except that I cannot remember a single sermon that didn't include several jokes; at times, I got the impression that he was torn between being either a priest or a stand-up comic.
I do believe that this apparent need to make the mass entertaining is a sign that something is missing in the Novus Ordo service. Unfortunately, humor is not what's missing.
This last N.O. church I attended regularly was not the closest to my home; the cathedral and several others are closer, but this particular church is where I went for many years, and many of my cousins and aunts and uncles go there as well, so I had always felt like I belonged there. The cathedral had the "hippie priest" (my mom says he's no longer there, but I'm taking no chances), the next closest has no kneelers, yet another has an interior more along the lines of a theater than a church, and so on.
It seemed that whatever problems it had, St. Ann was the most Catholic of the local churches. A Latin Mass had been offered locally a while back by a young priest (who had to learn Latin on his own, as it was not taught at his seminary!), of course at an odd time and at an out of the way church, but the new bishop put a stop to that and has made this priest for all practical purposes "disappear".
Then, this past Christmas, at good old St. Ann, I experienced an excruciating performance; I told my mom that I felt like I'd been to a Protestant service. Not that I'm familiar with what Protestant services are like (I did attend one as a teenager -- on a field trip with my Catholic youth group, led by our parish priest, and even then it didn't feel right), but it sure didn't seem Catholic. This was not "Fr. Stand-Up", but the new priest (shuffling priests around seems to have become more frequent lately), with altar girls (no boys at all), inappropriate music, the priest joking with the organist after a "goof", strange new hand gestures in place of the old hand-holding during the Our Father, the usual "Eucharistic Ministers" despite what I've heard and read that they are only to be used in extraordinary circumstances (Guess what? Every Sunday is extraordinary!).
So, I started looking around online for locations of Latin Masses, and about a month ago started going to an SSPX chapel an hour away. Almost all the women wear veils, and I've only seen one pair of jeans there (a young man who arrived late last Sunday, and who remained in the chapel after mass, kneeling in prayer). These two points are perhaps superficial, but they reflect the much higher level of reverence and are indicative of the deeper differences that are difficult for me to put into words. I have to get up about two hours earlier than I'm used to on Sundays, but it's worth it. Even better, when I told my mom about it, she didn't tell me I was wrong to go to an "unapproved" church or crazy to go so far out of my way.
I could drive about 3 minutes to the cathedral for entertainment (my mom said this is where "Fr. Stand-Up" is now, although she also told me that lately at his masses, a deacon has been doing just about the entire mass except for the consecration) or be on the road a total of two hours for an actual Mass. No contest. |
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crusader1099
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 946
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:23 am Post subject: |
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[quote="Glornt"]
The witch trial, the coconut discussions, the knights who say, "Ni!", and Brave Sir Robin were also highlights.
quote]
"Brave Sir Robin ran away....
Bravely ran away, away...
When danger reared it's ugly head...
he bravely turned his tail and fled...." |
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Glornt
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Joined: 15 Feb 2006
Posts: 1690
Location: Louisiana
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:09 pm Post subject: Brave Sir Robin |
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And then there's the scene with the Killer Rabbit:
ROBIN: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up and go and change your armor.
As with the French taunters, the phrase "go change your armor" was for several years commonly heard around our house. For example, if someone gave a rather flamboyant exhibition of the flatulent arts, someone else would likely say, "Sounds like you might need to go change your armor." It was always in good fun; at no point did we descend to the level of saying, "Ni!" to old ladies. |
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